Samantha Harman on self-concept, power & getting dressed as a business tool
Style as a Business Tool | Samantha Harman on The Show (Off)
What if the reason you stand in front of your wardrobe every morning and feel nothing but dread has nothing to do with what’s actually hanging in it?
That’s the question at the heart of this episode, where I sit down with Samantha Harman. She’s an award-winning newspaper editor turned style coach, and author of Just Get Dressed: Why You Have Nothing to Wear and What to Do About It. What followed was one of those conversations that starts with clothes and ends up somewhere far bigger: identity, power, childhood wounds, and why the patriarchy is deliberately trying to distract us.
Want to opt out? You can’t. Soz.
Samantha’s opening argument is simple. And once you hear it, it’s hard to argue with.
The fashion industry is worth roughly $1.8 trillion. Every single person participates in it, whether they care about it or not, because everyone gets dressed.
As Samantha puts it: “You are wearing clothes, therefore you’re in it.” You can either learn to use clothes as a tool, or you can pretend it doesn’t involve you.
Those are the options.
This isn’t vanity. It’s more like politics; opting out doesn’t mean you’re unaffected. It just means decisions are being made without your input.
Your wardrobe is the manifestation of everything
Samantha went on to explain that your wardrobe isn’t ‘just clothes’, it’s the manifestation of your hopes, your dreams, your beliefs, all the things that have happened to you, generational stories, the culture that you live in.
No wonder opening the wardrobe doors in the morning feels like too much!
This is where the concept of enclothed cognition comes in. Basically what we wear changes how we feel, and therefore how we perform. If you feel like a potato, Samantha says, you’re not going to make that video content. You’re going to tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow. And then the next day. And then it’s December and you wonder where the year went.
She also explained the “one in 60 rule” which comes from aviation. If you’re one degree off your intended path, you’ll end up 60 nautical miles from your destination. Getting dressed intentionally is how you can course-correct.
Money stories are everywhere (and everyones’)
Samantha is particularly passionate about the women she describes as “first in generation”. Those who are navigating professional spaces that their mothers and grandmothers weren’t permitted to enter.
These women walk into boardrooms feeling like imposters, and the clothing question becomes tangled up with class rules, unspoken expectations, and deep-seated beliefs about whether they’re allowed to spend money on themselves, take up space, or be visible. The result? Scouring sale rails even if you’ve got the income to buy something more you and longer lasting.
Samantha pointed out that it’s not just women from working-class backgrounds. Money stories run in every direction. Grow up wealthy but emotionally neglected? You might’ve learned that success equals abandonment, and sabotage yourself away from it. Grow up without money? You might feel you can never justify spending on yourself. Or go the other way entirely, using shopping as an emotional plaster for things that have nothing to do with clothes.
Back when she was a conformist…
Before becoming the person who helps other women find their style (and a whole lot more), Samantha went through her own long period of conformity. As a woman doing a job that few women had done before her, she looked around, concluded that editors wear black suits, and wore black suits. The abuse came anyway because it was never about the clothes. It was about who she was and what she represented.
The lesson she draws from this is important, especially for those who suggest that women like MP Hannah Spencer (criticised for her colourful outfits in Parliament) should simply wear the black suit and avoid controversy.
“Whatever you choose to wear, it’s gonna be wrong” says Samantha, pointing out that conformity doesn’t protect you. But finding your own style does something more valuable.
Why conventional styling misses the point
When women started asking Samantha for help, she looked at what professional personal styling that was around at the time and noticed something was missing. The industry tended to reduce people to body shapes and then prescribed a capsule wardrobe of universally applicable items (the trench coat, the white shirt) in the most “flattering” colours and silhouettes. It’s a framework built to minimise bodies rather than celebrate them.
What’s missing, Samantha realised, is the question: “What happened when you were five years old that made you think you aren’t allowed to wear pink sparkly leggings on a Tuesday if you frigging want to?” That’s where the magic happens.
Her book, Just Get Dressed, is an attempt to have this fuller, more nuanced conversation as opposed to the dogmatic arena of social media.
Where to start
If all of this feels overwhelming, Samantha’s practical advice is deliberately small.
Her suggested starting point with some clients is a mini-action e.g. taking five minutes to wash your face in the morning. Or putting on lipstick even if you’re not going to see anyone that day. It starts with gradually choosing yourself, incrementally raising your own self-concept until the world begins to reflect it back.
And her one concrete instruction for anyone listening? Go into your wardrobe right now and remove everything you hate. “If you rate stuff less than a nine out of 10, it’s got be questioned. Why are we less than nine-out-of-ten-ing ourselves?” she said.
Because we have one precious life. And at the end of it, you don’t want to have spent it worrying about five pounds, hiding your arms, or saving your best self for an occasion that never quite arrives.
Buy Samantha Harman’s book, Just Get Dressed: Why You Have Nothing to Wear and What to Do About It, is available now.
Find her at theStyleEditor.co.uk.
Connect with Samantha on LinkedIn here.
Subscribe to The Show (Off) and find all episodes at janinecoombes.co.uk/showoff.
And while you’re at it, why not connect with me on LinkedIn here. And find out more about my offer positioning and messaging services here.
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Timestamps:
00:00 Meet Samantha Harman
01:15 Style Is Essential
03:09 Wardrobe As Identity
04:41 Dressing For Impact
06:31 First Gen Women
09:37 Judgment And Power
12:48 Her Style Origin Story
18:02 Rethinking Styling Industry
21:23 Reclaiming The Show Off
22:25 Men and Anger
24:35 Patriarchy Hurts Everyone
26:42 Book Just Get Dressed
29:17 Dressing for Joy
32:11 Beauty Standards Distraction
34:12 Dress for Yourself
37:15 Wardrobe Cleanout Challenge
38:00 Final Thanks and Subscribe