We’ve all been there- we’ve had an amazing call with someone.
They seem super keen.
You set up a follow up call with them or they say they’ll sign up on Monday with their payment details.
And then…
Woooo… You’ve been ghosted! 👻
I regularly see people slagging off ghosters online.
But dig slightly deeper and you’ll find out that ghosters aren’t so bad really!
Why people ghost coaches
Actually, let’s start this section by saying why people DON’T ghost coaching services providers.
I can pretty much guarantee that they’re NOT doing it because:
- They want to annoy you
- They like messing with your head
- They secretly think you’re rubbish
- They’ve seen someone else and they think they’re much better than you
- They suddenly think you’re too expensive
And yet I’m willing to bet that if you’re a coach who’s been ghosted you’ll have had some mix of these thoughts swirling around in your head.
Let’s get into the nitty gritty of it…
Buying coaching-shaped-services isn’t like buying a sofa.
It’s more emotional.
There are more things at stake then whether it’ll scuff the paintwork on the way into the lounge.
In fact, there are three hurdles someone wanting to be coached have had to navigate before they get to the point where they’re happy to part with hundreds if not thousands of pounds.
The three hurdles to people buying your coaching services
1. They need to trust that you are able to help them
When someone ghosts you, it feels like an insult to you.
Your immediate reaction is probably:
‘They couldn’t even be bothered to turn up! How rude.’
But if they’ve had a sales call with you at all, or if they’ve engaged in any type of sales conversation, that box about whether you’re the right person for them has probably already been ticked.
There’s more at play here…
2. They need to trust in your process
In other words, they need to believe that coaching (or whatever combination of tools and techniques you use) is what they need right now.
Again, if they’ve expressed sincere interest in working with you, this requirement has probably already been satisfied too.
3. They need to trust themselves
And lo, we reach the real kicker.
It’s all well and good that they trust you and your process. And that they’ve seen wonderful testimonials from your previous clients and that they resonate with your messaging.
Now they’re thinking:
‘But will it work for ME? With all my life complications and my quirks.’
You simply don’t know what’s going on in their life. In their families. With their mental health.
I’ve had my share of ghosters in the past- people not turning up to sales calls when they seemed really keen.
Practically all of them had a really good reason.
I’ve had clients who are suffering bereavement. Moving house. Children coming out as transgender. You name it.
These are soft and squishy human beings we’re talking about! Let’s suspend our ego for a moment and give them the benefit of the doubt.
How to handle ghosters
How about handling ghosters with compassion and respect?
The likelihood is that they haven’t no-showed to p*ss you off. Something might have genuinely gone wrong in their life.
If they’re a no-show to a sales call or ‘decision’ call, send them an email saying something like:
‘Hi, are you still ok to come to the call now? Here’s the zoom link so you have it to hand…’
If they didn’t show up to the call at all and haven’t contacted you since, try a message like this:
‘Hi, we had a call booked in for yesterday at <time>. Are you ok?’
A coach friend of mine sends something funny along the lines of ‘I haven’t heard from you, I’m just checking that you haven’t been eaten by wolves..?’
I like that approach because it breaks the ice and shows that she’s not annoyed.
If it’s been a week or so and you still haven’t heard anything, send them a low key non-judgy message and ask for feedback as to why they changed their mind.
You can then work this into your pre-call content e.g. if you have a few people cancelled because they suddenly thought they wouldn’t have the headspace to participate in coaching at this point in their life, you could create a blog or video to explain that working with them saves them headspace. You can then send this to people after they’ve booked a call with you to show that you understand their thought processes.
Following up isn’t spammy or rude
Another reason ghosting is such a sticky thing to experience is that it puts you into murky waters with regards to following up.
If they’ve ghosted you; should you follow up? How should you follow up? How many times should you follow up?
Hopefully the suggestions above will help you with the ‘how’ to follow up bit.
But let me add this:
FOLLOWING UP ISN’T RUDE OR SPAMMY
They expressed an interest in working with you.
It’s your duty to follow up!
As for how many times to follow up, this is a good example of the need to tune into your intuition as everyone and every situation is different.
But as a rule of thumb, if you’ve missed a call with someone or a decision deadline then at least two messages would be merited. One to say ‘where were you, are you ok?’ and one to say ‘are you still interested in working together I haven’t heard from you?’.
If you’re feeling bold, you could send one more saying something along the lines of ‘I haven’t heard from you so I’m going to assume you’re not interested. All the best’.
All messages to be written in your own tone of voice of course!
Disrespectful ghosters
Ok, so I think I’ve rammed the message home hard enough that I believe compassion is the number one tool for handling ghosters.
But what if they have just decided not to turn up to a sales call or reply when they said they would and there’s nothing mindsetty or life crisis-y going on?
If you suspect this is going on, then you have a bigger issue on your hands.
Not enough of the right people know who you are.
This could either be a visibility problem. A messaging problem. Or both.
By the time people are getting into a sales conversation with you, they need to be
- 90% convinced that you’re the right person for them
- Satisfied that what you’re offering can definitely help them
- In the right space mentally to make a purchase decisions
Everything you put out into the world to promote yourself and your coaching-shaped-services should be calling to the people who will at some point fit the above three criteria.
A sales call serves as to satisfy that last 10% – a ‘fit check’ and final reassurances that it’s going to be the right move for them.
The biggest ghosting period in my coaching-shaped business
Let me tell you about the biggest ghosting period in my coaching-shaped business…
I was going through a pivot in my business.
I was moving from helping all service based businesses with all of their offers to just serving coach-shaped-people with their high-touch offers.
I thought, since I mainly helped coaches anyway and that I was mainly helping them position their one-to-one offers as ‘must-haves’, that this was a mere tweak to my messaging.
WRONG!
My engagement on LinkedIn faltered.
My invitations onto podcasts stopped.
And I had the weirdest experiences on my sales calls.
People who booked onto them seemed to barely know who I was!
I got a few people ghosting me on sales calls. And for the first time they’d booked on then just decided not to come.
And on one call, the guy called me Janice instead of Janine.
How do you get onto a sales call with someone and not even know their name?! 😂
I could’ve bitched and moaned about it, but what would be the point of that?
It was a clear indication that I was not well enough known in my chosen niche and that I had to double down on getting my new messaging out there.
It was a tough time, I’m not going to lie.
I could tell I was finally getting through when people started turning up on sales calls saying things like ‘I’ve been following you for a year now…’ ‘I saw your marketing coaching service on your website and I want to get going now…’
And no one has called me Janice for ages. Phew!
Are you experiencing any of these things?
Are you experiencing any of these things:
- People seeming to want what you’re selling on a sales call but then not going ahead
- The ‘wrong’ types of people turning up to sales calls
- People ‘ghosting’ you for no good reason
Then you could have a messaging or visibility gap in your business.
And if you’re a coach-shaped person (coach, mentor, consultant or blend of these) then I can help.
Click here to find out more about The Freedom Giver. Naughty ghosts be gone!
